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40 Days

Growing up as a Catholic I am very familiar with the term 40 days of Lent. A time when we are encouraged to fast and abstain from meat on Fridays and on Ash Wednesday. As a child I would give up cookies or brownies. I would usually make it the entire Lenten time frame but occasionally, I would forget and feel absolutely awful and guilty after I had eaten the treat. I would think to myself, Jesus gave up his life for me, dying on the cross and I can't be strong enough to not eat a cookie, come on Tracy, get with the program. The last few years before I was diagnosed with the AML I started to add in more then just restrain from during Lent. I would try to do a kind deed each day of Lent or say an extra prayer each day. I tried to get my kids onboard with the acts of kindness too. Sitting in church yesterday I couldn't help but think of my forty day stay in the hospital each time I received Chemotherapy as an AML patient. I always felt like during that 40 days I went to hell and back on Earth. Realizing how incredibly blessed I had been in my life. With an amazing family, two adorable kids and a husband who loves me what more could one women ask for. Almost dying brought me closer to Jesus then I have ever been.

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